TOUGH LOVE

What we say, when we say it and how we say it.

We coaches are constantly reminded about our behavior by parents, players, athletic directors, media, etc.   To me, coaching is a sliding scale.   A team is not a group of robots or clones.  Each athlete requires different communication techniques.  And it is up to us to know the difference.

I once had a player of mine tell me how worried he was that the Head Coach was all up in his grill every practice and I told him that he should start worrying when the Head Coach isn’t yelling at him, because that’s when he’s in trouble, meaning that the Head Coach gave up on him.

One of the most important things sports teach us is how to be tough without crossing the line.  That’s why we have rules.  Any loudmouth jerk with no regard for others can scream at his players.  That’s why we as coaches have unwritten rules.

This reminds me of a story of when I was playing Pony league baseball and we were in extra innings against our rivals.  Just as I was about to step up to the plate, I looked back at my coach with youthful bravado and confidence and said I was gonna go downtown.  Without hesitation he looked me square in the eyes and said, “Oh yeah, on what bus?”

As I stepped into the batter’s box my head was spinning.  Does the coach not have confidence in me?  STRIKE ONE!  Is the coach using reverse psychology on me?  STRIKE TWO!  Or maybe the coach is just a dick.  STRIKE THREE!  We lost the game and the coach lost me.  The next year I played Lacrosse.

The point is we are not building teams but building character.  And character begins with respecting each individual athlete and understanding what makes him tic.   And that, my friends, is tough.   It’s this measure of respect between coach and athlete that brings out the best in teams.

In closing, I am inclined to discuss the events of last weekend and properly equate them to coaching.

When Obama was addressing the question of giving Osama a proper burial at sea and keeping the photos private he said, “We don’t need to spike the football, that’s not who we are.”  We coaches know exactly what he’s talking about.

God Bless America

Dave Ricci